5/16/18

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I am exhausted. I waited until 11:30 to go running today because I had to wait for the maintenance guy to get here. He’s still not here, but that’s another story. I’m so tired because I went hard yesterday and today it was just gross outside. It was sprinkling at first so it was easy to feel like I wouldn’t overheat. It stopped, though, and it got sticky, gross and hot. I ran the first 6 miles and had to run/walk the last 4. Overall, 10 miles at 9:50 pace.

Gear: Peg 34, Apple watch, Airpods

The Peg 34s are a great shoe, almost identical to the 33s, but my feet seem to get really swampy in them in hot weather. Toward the end of the run today, I could hear “squish, squish” as my feet hit the ground. I thought Nike made this shoe more breathable than its predecessor but maybe I’m wrong about that, or maybe I haven’t run in the 33 in heat like this. Either way, it’s not a pleasant sensation, and all that sweat must add considerable weight.

Aside from the running just for a minute, my shoes aren’t the only thing getting bogged down. As much as I want to keep this running-centric, sometimes the other stuff in my life boils over into the running. I’m sure I’ve said something like that before, and I’ll probably want to talk about something more personal than how I felt on my run, what the pace was, and all that, in the future.

It’s the lack of a job that’s got me a little down. I feel like it’s a completely normal reaction to a completely normal situation. Not that it’s normal to be unemployed, but we moved here knowing I would have to find work, and that it might take a while. And both of us were fine with that. But fine in theory, when we were planning, and fine in practice, when I’m in the middle of a job search, is different.

Before we moved, I talked about how one day I would like to have some time away from work to just run and write. To be somewhere in the mountains and have no agenda but to do those two things to the best of my ability, and also to tie the two practices together tighter, as they are already so intertwined. A week ago, I saw myself in a situation where almost all of those elements were already in place, by none of my doing, or anyone else’s. The circumstances were to thank, I guess. The only thing missing was the mountains, which was an important part of the equation. The basic principles were all the same, though: no job, just run and write. The factor that slightly modifies this entire project is that I’m actively job seeking, and that steals time away from complete immersion in writing. For me, applying for jobs is quite an emotional process. I think in great detail about how my cover letters are going to be read and received, what my resume looks like to an HR person who works for a company that I’d like to work for, and really, how did that interview go, really. I stress the fuck out over no one calling me back. I get frustrated because – I know it sounds cliché – but I would be a great asset to your company! And I put a lot of thought into how my experience and education will translate into success for you and success for me. I’m being selfless here; I want to help you before I help myself.

Eventually, the job search will be a success. I will find a job that I enjoy which pays me reasonably. That’s all I’m after. It’s just a matter of time. And I’m fine now. Speaking of time, the maintenance guy is still not here.

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